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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?